Relationship as a Sacred Journey

Relationships are very intriguing to me. You are in relationship with everyone, from your banker to your lover and everyone in between. How you experience relationships can be uplifting or debilitating depending on how you are in the relationship. Every interaction counts.
Have you ever noticed that the experience you have in an interaction depends on how you approach the person? I have done many conversation experiments, and what I have come to know is the more loving, friendly, and compassionate I am, the more the person I am talking with is that way with me. I have observed this especially when talking to someone, for example, at the phone company when I call in asking for clarity or resolution regarding my bill. Try it next time and notice the difference!
Another experiment I did, many years ago, was with my father. It seemed to me that when he called me,  he was reporting how things were going with him and his new family. He would tell me all the things I wished I had done with him when I was young, but since we did not live together, my siblings and I did not get to do many activities. I found myself getting envious of what they were getting that I did not. What was missing for me in his calls was acknowledgment that I still mattered in his life and that I meant a lot to him. So, I started acknowledging him for being such a great father to his other three children and how fortunate they were to get to do all the things they were doing and to have him as a Dad. After just two phone calls, he started asking about me and my life and told me how important I was to him. He also acknowledged me for how much of a difference I was making in the lives of my clients. This was something he had not done before. So the very thing I thought was missing I gave him, and in the very giving of it, I experienced acknowledgement and seemingly out of nowhere, he gave to me the very thing I was previously missing. It was quite remarkable. The switch was very dramatic. So, if there are qualities you are lacking in relationship with others, bring that quality to them or the situation and watch how you are actually experiencing the very quality you previously thought was missing.
There are so many things I have learned over the last few years especially when it comes to relating with men. I would like to honor Allison Armstrong, the developer of the “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®” series, http://www.understandmen.com. She has spent over thirty years studying men. I would like to share some of the things that have made a difference when I speak with men that I have learned from Allison’s inquiry.
Allison has come to know that men are wired to provide, so I let men know what it is that they would be providing for me if they helped me, and they seem to jump at the opportunity. Since men love to make women happy, I might say to my beloved partner Bernie, “It would really make me happy if you would call me before you left your house to come over, so I know when you might be here. It would provide me more time to get ready to see you after I get caught up on my emails.” Even when men I do not know help me, I make it a habit to tell them what they provided for me. Their chest puffs up, knowing they have just made a difference;  they love it!

According to Allison, men are also wired to protect women. For example, I might say to Bernie while he is driving us somewhere, “I would feel much safer if there were more distance between our car and the car in front of us.” The interaction is not making him wrong for driving so close, rather, it is about proving safety for me. He naturally slowed down and I made sure I appreciated him by saying, “Thank you, I feel much safer now.” It is important as women that we let men provide safety for us and then appreciate them for it.
I have learned so much about my partner Bernie, just from listening to him. Asking him a question, then being quiet, gives him the time he needs to disclose what he chooses. Over time, he reveals more and more of who is and what he is up to, just in his speaking. Being present for another and listening is such a wonderful gift we can give each other.
I have also learned over the years to ask a man what he thinks rather than how he feels. You would be surprised how much information you get. You can actually learn what means a lot to men, what men value and what men hold dear and near just by listening. Men feel acknowledged and respected when they are listened to and men love respect and acknowledgement!
Allison also talks about how important men’s opinions are to them. She states that men’s opinions are to them, as women’s feelings are to women. So, just by asking their opinion, you can hear their inner longings, goals and what they are up to. You can also hear their sincere desire to help and make a difference in your life. Start really listening and notice the difference!

I like to look at intimate relationships as a sacred journey. We can use everything that ‘comes up’ for us and triggers us as an opportunity to heal. For those of us who are privileged to do Resonance Repatterning®, we can find and clear, or inquire and resolve, what happened in the past that is unresolved that is underneath the current upset. In this way, your intimate relationship can be like a journey, a sacred journey into your greatness, if you will. If you are in an intimate relationship, I encourage you to change your perspective and notice how much more freedom and love you share. Those of you who are not in an intimate relationship, the more you clear what is still unresolved from your past relationships, the more you will be open to the qualities you want to attract in a partner. Those of you who do not do the Resonance Repatterning® process, I would encourage you to find a practitioner in your area or have a phone session with a certified practitioner that you really connect with. The sessions are very profound. You can find one at: http://www.repatterning.org.

Relationships can be more uplifting if you are part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. If you go into the interaction with this intention, you will always get a different response, and your relationship with whomever will be a sacred journey– a source of personal transformation, joy and love.

Lovingly submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Victoria has been a Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner since 1994 and Teacher for fifteen years in Phoenix, AZ. In 1996 she opened the “Center for Extraordinary Outcomes”. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, she has used Resonance Repatterning® and five other methods, rather than psychotherapy, with her clients for the past 16 years. She is available for in-person and phone sessions for individuals, couples, groups, families and businesses.

Work Phone:  602-864-7662

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Author: Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Personal Bio I like to think of myself as a fun-loving, optimistic woman up to big things in life. I have a full and rich life. I was raised in Milwaukee with my three siblings who I helped raise and moved to Chicago alone when I was twenty, not knowing anyone. I spent my young adult years there doing ultrasound on pregnant women for eighteen years. In that time, I was married and divorced twice to two wonderful men then moved to Phoenix. I had a work related injury and re-careered as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I soon got frustrated with the lack of results I was getting with my clients and went out on my own to study Resonance Repatterning®, which I have been doing now for the past twenty years. (I know you are doing the math.) :) :) I have a wonderful man in my life. I call him my 'Beloved Bernie'. We have been together nine years now and continue to inspire each other’s greatness! I love to travel from camping to 'all inclusive' five-star resorts and everything in-between. My favorite is tropical beaches. I plan to live on one someday, perhaps Belize. I love dancing, singing, golf, writing, movies and special times with friends. My purpose is to experience love, fulfillment, adventure and joy, and I inspire and empower others’ greatness to live extraordinary lives. My commitment is to live my life from my divine essence of love and truth, making a significant difference in the lives of those I come in contact with. Business Bio Victoria is committed to helping you live a life you love - a life where you can hardly wait to get up and one that is overflowing with love, joy, passion and fulfillment. She has been a Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner since 1994 and former Teacher for fifteen years. She is a Professional Counselor and has used Resonance Repatterning® and eight other methods rather than psychotherapy, with her clients for the past 20 years. The others methods include: Grigori Grabovoi Method, Matrix Energetics®, Scalar Heart Connection™, Soul Memory Discovery, Spiritual Healing for Indigos™, Spiritual Response Therapy®, Thought Field Therapy™, Yuen Method™. She opened the "Center for Extraordinary Outcomes" in 1996 and has a successful full time practice which continually inspires and fulfills her. She has served on the Certification Committee for the Repatterning Practitioners Association and on the Board of Directors for five years providing Repatternings for the Board members as well as writing the “Certification Corner” articles for the Journal. Although is no longer on the Board, she does continue to write articles on various topics for the quarterly Journal. Out of her passion and commitment to help people achieve their goals and dreams, she developed her ‘Heal Your Birth Journey-Heal Your Life’ Workshop, which clears unconscious patterns from conception, through the gestation and during the birth journey. She has been leading this workshop for over six years and has made a huge difference in the lives of many. She has recently developed another workshop called, ‘Heal Your Family System – Heal Your Life’ which she began offering in the fall of 2015. She also penned five books – the first, “What Would Love Do Right Now?” will be available in print and e-book this spring. Publishing these books is her way to make a difference on a larger scale. The other titles are, "Living on the Skinny Branches of Life", Relationship - A Sacred Journey to Your Greatness", "Three Magical Words", "Conversations with the Fairy Realm" and "Adventures with the Fairy Realm". Victoria is available for workshops and in-person and/or phone sessions for individuals, couples, groups, families and businesses. Contact Information: Victoria@ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com www.ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com 602.864.7662

1 thought on “Relationship as a Sacred Journey”

  1. Thank you Victoria for your insightful and “wise” insights into men!

    Having been married for 21 years I have to say I wish I had had those insights 21 years ago. I did learn fairly soon the importance of men being appreciated and that typically they are “thinkers” rather than “feelers”. AND I was introducted to Resonance Repattering 8 years into my marriage and this work has definitely both salvaged (at times) and enhanced my relationship with my husband beyond what I thought would be possible.

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