How Anxiety Causes Relationship Problems

For the anxious person, relationships can be a living hell.  Far from the oasis of warm support and connection most of us associate with relationships, the anxious person is caught in a vicious cycle of stress responses that create yet more anxiousness.

An anxious person typically has the most difficulty in romantic relationships, followed by friendships and work relationships. Oddly, the research doesn’t mention family relationships.

Resonance Repatterning for Anxiety
Anxiety Causes Relationship Problems

I worked with one woman whose relationship with her romantic partner was wonderful. She came from an intensely religious family and as a gay woman she felt insecure and rejected.  Told she would burn in hell by her (otherwise loving) family, she needed friendships to fill the role of family for her.

However, when there were changes in her friendships she found herself panicking.  She couldn’t trust the bond of friendship to weather the natural disruptions of life such as someone moving or even being very busy. She couldn’t trust her close friendships to continue to be “like family”–that they wouldn’t abandon her–because on a deep level, her family had abandoned her.

See the catch 22?  For her, family, intimacy, bonding, love–all mean being abandoned at the primal, core level of accepting who she is as a gay woman.  When her friends needed space to work out their lives, she became needy and demanding, “making it all about me,” as she put it.

Relationship anxiety is an internal battleground where the desperate need for reassurance and security are the very things that threaten the relationship.

The anxious person is caught in a catch 22.  The obvious need is to trust—but at the same time when trust is most needed she absolutely must not collapse into trusting her overwhelming sensations of anxiety.

“I am driving my partner crazy with my drama and neediness and I can’t stop!  My anxiety is pushing him away… and that just makes me even more anxious,” is a typical complaint.

In 2004 the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) conducted a survey of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) sufferers on the effect their anxiety on their romantic partner relationships.

Seventy percent of GAD sufferers believe their relationship anxiety has a negative effect on their relationships. Compared to non-anxious partners in romantic relationships GAD sufferers were:

  • Half as likely to perceive themselves as being in a “healthy, supportive” relationship.
  • Twice as likely to experience relationship problems in communication, social activities, arguments, and sexuality.
  • Three times more likely to avoid sexual intimacy.
  • Seventy-five percent believed their anxiety impaired their ability to participate in normal activities with their partner.

    Natural Remedies for Anxiety
    Natural Remedies for Anxiety

Relationship anxiety often creates mental state of suspiciousness and worry about their partners’ love, care, or faithfulness.

Becoming aware of their anxiety only serves to make them suspicious of their own thoughts and feelings.  The inverse holds true as well: Suspicions about their own thoughts creates anxiety.  The perception is there nothing to trust.  Any evidence of love and care on the part of the other gets lost in the fear and confusion.

Persistent needs of reassurance, dramatic confrontations and destructive impulses create even more stress in the relationship. Intolerable mental-emotional states create an urgent need for relief  (but make for bad decision making.) There is a downward spiral.

Anxious people blame themselves for not overcoming feelings of fear and panic and for the negative effects it has on their relationships.  Despair takes hold.  Traditional therapy leaves them “knowing better….but not being better.”

Adult Separation Anxiety
Adult Separation Anxiety

What we see as a pattern underneath the anxious person is someone who wants and needs (but is unable to receive) the closeness and security of relationship.

What we see in the relationship patterns of an anxious person is someone who desperately needs assistance with healing.

What we see in the unhealed stress responses requires much more, or something much different, than what either medication or thought-out rational explanations or problem-solving can even begin to provide.

What I see is a great need for Resonance Repatterning.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  Frederick Buechner

Laura Frisbie

http://www.beat-depression-naturally.com 

Resonance Repatterning Practitioner specializing in abandonment and natural anxiety treatment

Resonance Practitioners Association Executive Board, Journal Committee, Skills Development Facilitator

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Seven Body n Mind Supplements


The body n mind dynamic works both ways.

If the body isn’t getting what it needs, then neither is the mind.

1.  Quality Multivitamins

 

Vitamin companies buy raw materials to produce their products so it is the quality of these raw materials that makes the difference between a good multivitamin and a bad one.

Some companies use deceptive marketing  and  mark up inferior products.  Also, some supplements do not contain what is on the label.   A recent paper was published on ten over-the-counter Vitamin D supplements.  None had the dose of vitamin D that was listed on the label!        

 

What to look for in your multivitamin:

  •  B12 should be in the form of “methylcobalamin” or “hydroxocobalamin.”   If it is “cyanocobalamin” you are wasting your money on an inferior form of B12.
  • Vitamin A should come from “mixed carotenoids” which is its natural form.
  • Vitamin E should come from “mixed tocopherols” or the 4 tocopherols should be listed as alpha, gamma, delta and beta. If it is only “alpha tocopherol” then you are actually harming your body and increasing your risk of heart attack and cancer.
  • Folic acid should be present as “folate” and not “folic acid.” If it says folic acid then you are significantly increasing your risk of cancer.
  •  Magnesium should be in the form of “glycinate.” Most multi’s use “oxide” which is the lowest quality form of magnesium and is not absorbed well.
  • B6 should be in the form of “pyridoxal-5-phosphate” which is the active form of B6.
  • Vitamin D should be in the form of “cholecalciferol” and not “ergocalciferol.”
  • Other minerals such as zinc, manganese, selenium, calcium etc. are best absorbed in a “chelated” form.

Dr. Nik Hedberg recommends the “Twice Daily Multi” from Designs for Health as a basic multivitamin. Companies like Designs For Health can guarantee that everything listed on the label is actually in the product in its fully bio-available form.

 

2. Fish Oil

Improved mood ( read body n mind…. and less depression), optimal fat-burning, increased energy, better brain function (most of the brain is made of DHA…yep body n mind again!), optimal hormone metabolism, proper immune system function and healthy detoxification.

Fish oil reduces inflammation in the body – so everything works better. Fish oil is important for optimal hormonal health. Hormones must communicate with your cells for specific functions in the body. Fish oil optimizes this communication so hormones like testosterone, estrogen, progesterone and thyroid hormone can work their magic. Hormone replacement should not be considered until essential fatty acid status is optimized

Fish oil contains essential fatty acids known as EPA & DHA.  These oils ensure there is a constant flow of nutrients, hormones, water, electrolytes, toxins etc. in and out of your cells. This flow determines how healthy you are.

Are all fish oils created equal?  Definitely not!  There are two forms of fish oil available today – triglyceride and ethyl ester forms. Most oils today are in the ethyl ester form is because the cost is less than the triglyceride form.

  • The ethyl-ester form is produced by heating fish oil under a vacuum and the fatty acids are bound to ethanol. This results in a “semi-synthetic” form of oil which is labeled “omega-3 fish oil concentrate.”
  • Triglycerides are the natural form of fats found in food sources. This form is less prone to oxidation. Triglyceride forms of fish oil are much better absorbed and do not require the same level of digestion in the body. The result is 50% higher plasma levels of EPA and DHA. Triglyceride forms of fish oil also last much longer than ethyl ester forms due to their resilience to oxidation.

Fish oil is a supplement you don’t want to be cheap about. Some fish oils contain toxic metals such as mercury and arsenic as well as environmental toxins. Be sure that you are taking the cleanest, purest form of fish oil available.

3. Iodine

Iodine can save your life!

Iodine is vital for the following processes in the body:  

Growth Use of Energy & Oxygen Heat Production (cold hands and feet anyone?)

Fertility (combined with vitamin D works like a charm)

The use of proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, electrolytes, and water

Immune system function in the intestine

 

Iodine can be beneficial in the following conditions:  

Hypothyroidism

Fibrocystic Breasts

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

Goiter Breast Cancer

Thyroid Nodules

Prostate Health

Iodine is essential for the thyroid and other body tissues. The breast requires iodine to be healthy and women with fibrocystic breast disease have been shown to have low iodine.

Iodine enters the thyroid gland and combines with the amino acid tyrosine to make thyroid hormone. In order for iodine to enter the thyroid gland you must have a healthy transport mechanism which is optimized with vitamin C and magnesium. It has been shown that 3,000mg of vitamin C every day will repair the iodine transport mechanism.

Most Americans do not get enough iodine because it is no longer in our food. Iodized salt is not adequate because it does not provide the right type of iodine and it does not contain enough for optimal function. Additionally,  iodine is a powerful antioxidant which is vital for reducing inflammation in the whole body.

There are two forms of iodine that should be ingested:

1. Iodide – Iodide mainly travels into the thyroid gland to provide all of its benefits for your metabolism to make sure you are burning fat, producing heat etc.

2. Iodine – Molecular iodine mainly travels to the other tissues of the body such as the breast, ovaries and prostate gland.

Most of the supplements out there only have iodide which will only help the thyroid, but not the rest of the body.

Iodine should not be taken if you have autoimmune thyroid disease such as Hashimoto’s or Grave’s disease! Make sure that you know this before you begin supplementation because it can have devastating effects on the thyroid gland. You will find many, many websites on the internet telling you that iodine is good for autoimmune thyroid and this is tragic.

Dr. Nik Hedberg recommends a product known as Iosol which is a blend of iodide and iodine.

How much should you take? Each drop of Iosol contains 1.8mg of iodine and iodide. Begin taking 1 drop/day for a week, then increase to 2 drops/day for a week and then maintain at 3 drops/day.  

 

4. Magnesium

  • Magnesium is the 4th most abundant mineral in the body and is required for over 300 regulatory enzymes.
  • Magnesium is an important mineral for those with heart disease, diabetes, depression (yep, there’s that body n mind thing again, migraines, tension headaches, eclampsia and asthma.
  • Magnesium is involved in the metabolism of brain chemicals that affect your mood such as feeling depressed or anxious. It is required for muscle relaxation, bone metabolism, and optimal calcium levels which is important for bone health.
  • Magnesium has been shown by itself to increase bone density without calcium supplementation. Calcium directly competes with the absorption and therefore leads to magnesium deficiency. Magnesium actually blocks the uptake of calcium thus it’s name, “nature’s calcium channel blocker.”  Millions of women are told to take calcium for their bones (which by the way doesn’t do anything) only to deplete themselves of magnesium– which is much more important for bone health than calcium!
  • Magnesium is indirectly involved in every enzymatic reaction in the body because it is required for energy production.
  • Magnesium is required for carbohydrate, protein and fat-burning in the cell.
  • Virtually every hormone in your body requires magnesium to function properly.
  • Magnesium plays an important role in electrolyte balance. Nerves cannot fire efficiently and muscles cannot contract properly without magnesium.
In addition to calcium, birth control pills and hormone replacement also deplete the body of magnesium. Toxic metals such as lead and cadmium deplete the body of magnesium as well. Supplementing with magnesium will actually naturally remove these metals from the body and works just as well as intravenous EDTA-chelation therapy!

Magnesium deficiency has been shown:

  • to cause high blood pressure as well as contraction of the blood vessels that surround the heart and brain.
  • is directly related to the development of osteoporosis.
  • has been shown to be present in diseases such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Magnesium deficiency in these patients is directly related to the muscle pain, muscle weakness, joint pain, fatigue, depression, brain dysfunction and inflammation they experience. Patients with both conditions have been shown to benefit from taking magnesium.

The best form of magnesium to take is magnesium salts in the form of glycinate. These are much better absorbed than the citrate or oxide forms and are better utilized by the body. Citrate is rapidly excreted by the kidney and oxide is not absorbed well at all. In fact, oxide is really only used to induce bowel movements in people with severe constipation.

A good rule of thumb for supplementation dose is 5mg per kg of bodyweight of every day. (150 lbs = 68kg. 68 X 5mg = 340mg daily.)

 

5.  Vitamin C

Our food supply contains very little Vitamin C because of premature food harvesting, artificial ripening and food processing. We are bombarded by environmental insults that increase our need for vitamin C. Prescription drugs, tobacco smoke, alcohol, industrial solvents, pesticides, petroleum products, carbon monoxide, lead, cadmium etc. all destroy vitamin C.

We should all supplement with vitamin C to build a biological barrier to protect our bodies.

Scientifically shown benefits of vitamin C:

• Improved blood vessel and cardiovascular integrity

• Enhances healthy hormone actions

• Promotes immune system health

• Enhances nitrous oxide functions

• Rebuilds the powerful antioxidant glutathione

• Promotes iron balance

• Reduces the accumulation of toxins

• Improves intestinal transit time

• Protects our DNA from damage

• Reduces toxic minerals in the body

•Enhances natural anti-cancer functions

• Rebuilds vitamin E and selenium

• Maintains the integrity of cartilage, bones and teeth

• Increases cellular resistance to many common viral infections

 

So how much Vitamin C do you need? The best way to learn your need of vitamin C is by doing an ascorbate calibration or “vitamin C flush.” Most of Dr. Hedberg’s patients require 2-10 grams per day based on their calibration. By saturating your body with vitamin C you will build a foundation to achieving optimal health

 6.  Vitamin D

When was the last time you had your vitamin D levels checked?  Vitamin D is not just a vitamin that is important for bone health and the prevention of rickets.

Vitamin D is a pro-hormone that is essential for:

  • Modulation of calcium metabolism
  • Cell growth
  • Cardiovascular dynamics
  • Immune/inflammatory balance
  • Neurologic function (yes, brain again)
  • Muscle weakness and pain
  • Insulin production
  • Blood pressure
  • Autoimmune diseases
  • Cancer
  • Adrenal function
  • Genetic expression

It is virtually impossible to get enough vitamin D through diet…even with cod liver oil supplementation. D3 is the naturally occurring form of vitamin D and can be obtained through high quality supplements. D2 is produced by irradiating fungi and is much less efficient as a precursor to the active form of vitamin D.

Dairy products are fortified with D2 providing a vastly inferior source. The amount of D2 put in dairy products is also extremely inadequate — which leads us to the question of how much is safe and effective.

Supplementation of 2,000-10,000 IU for adults is clinically safe since such doses are consistent with physiologic requirements as noted by the amount produced by sun exposure. Vitamin D levels must be measured first and a thorough evaluation by a licensed physician should be completed before beginning supplementation.

Dr. Hedberg’s new patients often bring in calcium/vitamin D combination products. These products usually have a grossly sub-optimal level of vitamin D.

Vitamin D supplementation has been scientifically shown to benefit the following conditions:

  • Cardiovascular disease
  •  Hypertension
  •  Type 2 diabetes
  •  Osteoarthritis
  •  Multiple sclerosis
  •  Prevention of type 1 diabetes
  •  Depression (Vitamin D is yet another body n mind supplement)
  •  Epilepsy
  •  Migraine headaches
  •  Polycystic ovary syndrome
  •  Musculoskeletal pain
  •  Autoimmune/inflammatory conditions such as lupus & rheumatoid arthritis
  •  Cancer prevention and treatment.

It is estimated that as many as 47,000 cancer deaths could be prevented each year in Americaif adequate vitamin D levels were attained.

It is extremely important to have your levels checked through a blood test as well as consistent monitoring of blood calcium levels. Vitamin K plays an essential role in vitamin D metabolism and is vital if you are taking vitamin D. Without sufficient vitamin K, the increased calcium in the blood from vitamin D intake can deposit in soft tissues and also make arteries less elastic.

I use a product that contains vitamin K along with the vitamin D. Vitamin D supplementation should also be accompanied by vitamin A because too much of one will create a deficiency in the other. Since vitamin D is fat-soluble, those individuals with gall bladder dysfunction or impaired fat digestion will not absorb it very well. Obesity can cause a 50% reduction in vitamin D levels even when supplementing with the same dose as a non-obese individual. Estrogen and progesterone are required for optimal vitamin D metabolism so menopausal women tend to have lower levels than others.

7.  Zinc

Zinc deficiency is rampant.  We only consume as low as 47% of the recommended daily intake of zinc.

More than a dozen studies show that zinc reduces the incidence and duration of the common cold due to its immune system supporting powers. Zinc actually directly inhibits the growth of cold-causing viruses. Zinc is involved in more body functions than any other mineral! It is estimated that zinc is involved in 10,000 enzymatic reactions in the body most of which involve the immune system and repair of body tissues.

Zinc is important for:

  • Chemical detoxification (important body n mind connection!)
  • Growth and development
  • Immune function
  • Sexual function
  • Production of white blood cells and it supports natural killer cells that fight infections Healing cannot take place without adequate zinc!
  • Metabolism of proteins, fats and carbohydrates
  • Brain function such as memory and learning –  every enzymatic reaction in the brain
  • Vision, taste and smell

Marginal zinc deficiency can lead to:

  • Diabetes
  • Prostate enlargement
  • Cataracts
  • Ulcers
  • Food allergies
  • Toxic metals accumulation
  • Osteoporosis
  • Infections
  • Decreased sense of taste and smell
  • Hearing impairments
  • Blood sugar imbalances
  • Night blindness
  • Heart disease
  • High blood pressure
  • High triglycerides

Zinc has been shown to be more effective than tetracycline for acne in teenagers. Zinc deficiency can be a contributing factor in other skin conditions as well including psoriasis, eczema, burns and wounds that heal slowly.

Zinc is a vital nutrient for sexual health. It works in virtually every aspect of male reproduction including sperm production, sperm motility and hormone metabolism. Men with low testosterone and low sperm counts are usually zinc deficient.  Men who supplement with zinc can reduce the size of the prostate and symptoms of benign prostatic hyperplasia. Frequent urination and urge to urinate diminishes with zinc supplementation.

Zinc deficiency in women can lead to premature births, low birth weight, delivery problems, growth retardation, spontaneous abortion and toxemia. Zinc deficiency can result in the destruction of nerve cells leading to the formation of plaque tangles found in Alzheimer’s Disease.  When Alzheimer’s patients were given zinc supplements they showed improvement in memory, communication, understanding and social contact. (All of these are important body n mind anti-depression factors.)

How do you know if you need zinc? Dr. Hedberg does a test called a zinc challenge test which is done with liquid containing zinc. If you can taste the metallic flavor that zinc has then you don’t need to supplement. If you can’t taste anything then you are most likely deficient in zinc.

Dr. Hedberg cautions, “When you supplement with zinc be sure your multi contains copper.”

Laura Frisbie

 

http://www.beat-depression-naturally.com

RPA Journal Committee Member
RPA Board Secretary
Dr Nik Hedberg

****I first saw this information in a free e-course from Dr. Hedberg and felt it was important  enough to share.  Perhaps you’d like to share this with your clients?   This is a highly condensed version, see the original version here –  http://drhedberg.com/ Dr. Nikolas R. Hedberg, D.C., D.A.B.C.I.

Abundance Consciousness Police

tickets for negative thoughts
Don't be like the abundance consciousness police!

Abundance Consciousness Police

Ask me what is essential for an abundant life and these four are my response.    

  1. Awareness born of fearless, honest self-reflection.  
  2. Self-acceptance.
  3. The will to change.
  4. And faith in the power to do so.  

Some ideas promoted as abundance consciousness run contrary to these essentials.  Granted they are well intended.  But perhaps the road to well is not paved with good intentions.

Like many good ideas, abundance consciousness has fallen victim to the sound bites of popular advice.  Similar to what has happened to religions throughout time, popular culture has extracted surface meanings, removed thought-provoking depths, and served up pointless palaver.

The first law (according to the consciousness “experts”) is to avoid “I” statements that express negativity.  Here is a direct quote from the number one ranked site for the keyword ‘abundance consciousness,’

“Watch your language! Make sure that what follows “I” or “I am” is what you                  want to manifest. If you say “I am poor,” the Universe will answer you with its              only response: yes!”

Oh honestly!  Well, for one thing, that advice would omit every statement of non-coherence in every Repatterning!!  There is a quality of unquestioned authority around these teachings, a culture of blame growing like mold in a Petri dish.  The message is,  “It is not ok (to not be ok) and it was YOU not being ok that created the problem.”

I have a client who couldn’t finish her sentences.  The consciousness police taught her to fear manifesting an even worse reality through authentic expression. It was often 45 minutes into the session before she’d admit her real issues with the caveat, “I shouldn’t feel this way, wahhhhhh!”  I’ve had clients balk at saying the words “I need (fill in the blank)” for fear of manifesting more need.

While intended as a method for increasing awareness around the power of one’s thoughts, the unfortunate outcome is often an edited, judged, shamed, blamed, and frightened awareness.

They say that what you focus your thoughts on is what you manifest.  Maybe.  Yes.  And, well… no!  Maybe I can sum up by saying that gratitude and appreciation seem to work wonders.  But equally important is the simple truth that when I’m not there, I’m not. I’m just NOT.

The solution is not to deny my authentic feelings, not to pretend I am enlightened when indeed I am not. Abundance consciousness can lead to denial. Denial is formidable.

The hidden treasure in my negative situation is my process, my evolution towards more coherence.  It is an opportunity to discover unmet needs and negative beliefs, hurt feelings and unresolved relationships.  It is nothing less than the opportunity to see where my soul is ready to grow and in order to do so I must feel free to speak my experience, fearlessly trusting in the power of bringing truth to light.

When all IS well in my world, it is not because my mind has created wellness by pretending all is well!  When I am in a bright, clear space within, I don’t get there by “shoulding” my feelings.  When I am in peace and acceptance, when I am “attracting or manifesting” the positive, my focus is on taking action around my “problems”– what I have that I don’t want/ what I want that I don’t have.

In an Energy Constriction Release, I  support their “I need” statement by noting what a wonderful world it would be if everyone had that particular need met.  I say it is a healthy need, worthy of taking a stand for.  This response to their need is often in stark contrast to their feeling guilty and broken for having the need.

Abundance consciousness type solutions are what people resort to when they don’t have Resonance Repatterning.   (The poor impoverished dears!)

Suppressing fear creates a mind at war with itself. A mind that is in fear of its own fear. A mind that insists that its own lack of power is stronger than the power of bringing truth to light.

“I’m trying to change reality with my thoughts,” said another client, owner of a once thriving real estate firm.  “My company is losing money and I can’t pay the bills.  But I still go on trips and take cabs because I’m afraid of poverty consciousness.”

She was trapped in mental turmoil, looking for the blame inside herself.  “How did I create this?” she pondered sleeplessly, believing that if she performed the correct mental gymnastics she would undo the voodoo hoodoo of loss.   She was not fully present to name problems and take positive actions.

How can unmet needs be resolved with love and communication when there is fear, blame and belief that speaking the truth will manifest more of the same?  
Unquestioned belief in “thought manifestation” can result in fear of being.  It is a terrifying idea that you cause your troubles if you are anything other than a bliss ninny.

Naming a lack does not create the lack!  If it did, how could we create anything?  If I say I am thirsty, am I manifesting more thirst?  Am I not more likely to build a bridge if I notice that I need one?  Does putting locks on your doors manifest burglars?  Does using birth control manifest unwanted pregnancies? Does responsible stewardship of resources equal poverty consciousness?

How does abundance consciousness explain the occupation of Tibet or AIDS or genocide or abortion?

The planets are in constant motion, ever changing relationships to one another.  Does the moon not wax and wane and the sun rise and fall?  One must see oneself –not as cause–but as transcending the fickle winds of fate.

Fearing the shame of one’s own negative thoughts is like fearing the gas gauge on the car that indicates it is low.  Obviously, the potential power of the car is not determined by the amount of gas — but it does require gas.  Similarly, our thoughts are merely indicators of an underlying condition that requires healing.  What needs Repatterning is not the thoughts so much as the fear of the thoughts, the  lack of positive power attributed to the experience of  thoughts.  I genuinely ask how this level of consciousness is different than a small child thinking they caused their parents divorce?

Thanks to Resonance Repatterning, which includes the non-coherent within the healing process, both of these clients have turned things around.

They are:

  1. Expressing ALL their feelings, recognizing their needs and facing reality responsibly (awareness born of fearless, honest self-reflection.)
  2. Letting go of blame and forgiving life (self-acceptance.)
  3. Facing and acting on the ‘harsh realities’ of life (the will to change.)
  4. And in the process they are gaining faith in their power to do so.

Necessity is the mother of invention.  Let’s invent ways to perceive needs as the seeds of abundance.  Let’s spread the idea that recognizing needs or lack is what activates our power to create and manifest.  Let’s take a stand for UN conditional awareness.

When we resonate with the power of bring the truth to light, we will finally stop fearing (and denying) fear itself.

What about you?  Have you grappled with these questions in your life?  How about your clients? We’d love to have a discussion about this, feel free to comment.  The more voices heard from the better.

Laura Frisbie

laurafrisbie@gmail.com

http://www.beat-depression-naturally.com

Transformative Moments

What a remarkable coincidence that the theme of our issue is “Transformation” and it is our first time to publish in blog format!  Our Repatterning Practitioners Association Journal is continually transforming.  These changes in its form brought us face to face with the question Sally Herr so wisely asked, “Where does the Journal live?”

Our answer?  The Journal lives in the hearts and minds of its readers; us; our community of Resonance Repatterning Practitioners.  And who better to ask about transformation than this community?  And what could be a more fitting area of interest than our very own transformation into Certified Practitioners?

And perhaps best of all, what could be a better way to encourage our community to participate in our new blog journal than to gather input from its members?

So…using the online list of practitioners, I sent an email with three questions to those in the United States that listed a website (there are close to fifty).  I received eight email replies.  I also called the first half of the list and did spontaneous interviews with another seven.  (If I do something like this again, I’ll call the second half of the list, to keep it balanced.)

Connecting with you (the practitioners) has been a delightful and rejuvenating experience for me in so many ways!  I love hearing and sharing what you have to say and I hope you enjoy what your community has to say about their transformation experiences.

1.  “Was there a moment when you knew that you had achieved the skill and confidence needed to be a practitioner?”

Responses that related to certification:

  • “At my final observation, I knew nothing about my client, who arrived in a wheelchair with advanced muscular dystrophy for his first session.  He was unable to use his arm for the muscle check.  I got out of my process and my only concern became his successful experience.  We discovered his fingertips worked for the mc.  I knew then that I had enough skill to be a creative problem solver on my clients’ behalf.  It was a beautiful to be part of his first experience of his energy moving.  And I discovered myself as ‘Presence.’ ”    Patti Towhill
  • “The moment I was certified – it was like going to see the Wizard of Oz.  Even my husband remarked that I was a different woman than the one that walked out the door that morning. I might have had the confidence all along, but the stamp of approval gave me a real boost.”  Elizabeth Tobin
  • “I knew during/just after my last supervision.  I had not passed four supervisions  and was feeling very discouraged.  This client was not a “difficult man”– which was the type of client that in those times were preferred for supervision.  She was a career woman who had just lost her professional license.  The entire session consisted of energy constriction work.  The entire room was riveted.  It was a powerful session and she left smiling.”     Sally Herr
  • “I remember feeling how much fun this process was.  Like each session was a journey of discovery that seemed so easy to me compared to other processes I had done.   Doing sessions with my fellow students every week helped a great deal.”    Bobbie Martin
  • “My first session–when I charged money–felt like a christening.  It was proof that it was something valuable.  Feedback on how helpful it was confirmed to me that I was a practitioner.  There were lots of stellar moments between transforming from student to practitioner, but the defining moment was the money.”  Cynthia Paul
  • “At my observation Ardis said I smoothly facilitated the session and moved skillfully with the client while “holding the healing space” – helping to lead the person to a higher state of coherence.  Later that day I felt major shifts, I felt grounded, happy, confident, and at times exhilarated.”  Ray Iasiello
  • “I distinctly felt a new energy welling through me during my observation. It was a warm honey-like energy, a flowing inner smile of calm and assurance.  This inner aspect still comes forth for sessions, it feels different than my normal self.”  Laura Frisbie

About gaining mastery over time:

  • “I knew when I obtained a flow because I knew the material and also when my clients started sending their loved ones and friends to me for sessions.”  Victoria Benoit
  • “I don’t recall a particular moment.  My confidence increased as I received more and more positive feedback from clients.”   Jennifer Foster

About trusting self and the process:

  • “The defining moments all had one thing in common – learning to trust myself.  I had to trust it always, no matter what, or else I could not possibly do this work.  So I made the decision to trust it consciously and that was a turning point. Many times I heard a small voice in my head saying “this can’t be right” but I ignored it and the voice got softer and softer and disappeared.  Trusting my instincts has helped tremendously with doing proxy sessions and working with animals.  The more I trust myself, the more successful I am. Learning to trust myself has been a journey for me and one I am still on.”  Leah MacLeod
  • “Learning the repatterning process enabled me to learn to trust it and myself (something I had in very limited supply—witness the dependence on cookbooks and sewing patterns.)   I learned to trust especially as I started to see results with my clients even when it seemed to me that nothing ‘spectacular’ had happened in a session.”    Kathie Joblin
  • “My mentor Bobbi Martin spoke to my early concern about not being good enough. She said to set an intention to only attract clients that match my level.  After that I had no worry and it never happened!   I learned the material and became a good technician, confident that when I follow the process exactly I can’t make a mistake because I’m muscle checking.” Wendie Theus
  • “Everything I ever learned in my life helped shape me into a practitioner.  I’ve always been in the field of communication and have always had the confidence to know I can achieve what I want.  In the first hour of the first seminar, I knew.”  Michael Fischer
  • “I chose to be a practitioner almost immediately.  I had been to two sessions and a class and I got so excited that I went to more classes in New York and then just kept on going.  I had a degree in psychology and a master’s in early childhood education.  I was surprised at how well I had prepared for something I had never heard of!  It was just what I had been looking for, it offered all the pieces that nothing else offered in the same way. “  Lynn Morgan

2.  “Was/is there a specific skill, talent, or quality that you possess (or that you gained in the process) that helped transform you into a confident practitioner?”

  • “Now, many years later, I can see that transformation is going on all the time.  It’s either a slow evolutionary process, or sometimes it’s a ‘whack on the side of the head’ !  But it is inevitable. The work I do has shaped my thinking, perceptions and attitudes around the subject of transformation.”  Kathie Joblin
  • “Transformation is what I love most in life, whether it is mine or those whom I support.  Because I spend so much of my energy on my own transformation work, I bring lots of tools to support others.”  Sally Herr
  • “I would say that my specific quality/skill is the ability to hold a space of complete acceptance, love, and compassion for my clients.  This makes it easier to go deep with them and create profound shifts.”  Jennifer Foster
  • “My ability to create a sacred space and to “be with” the client rather than focusing on the books, so they have an experience of being gotten.”  Victoria Benoit
  • “My willingness is to transform, to be in the process, continually.  Transformation is on-going.” Elizabeth Tobin
  • “Intuition is one of the strongest things that has developed in my practice. I am able to feel in my body what is going on.  Even if the client is not aware, I would put it out and often they would become aware that it was the blocks that needed to be cleared.” Lynn Morgan
  • “I was fully present with the material, which then allowed me to become fully present with myself, with myself as Presence.”  Patti Towhill
  • “I seem to be a born confidant and spiritual cheerleader.  I practice “beginner’s mind” and remember that I do not and can not know what is best for another along with a commitment to the higher purpose in all experiences.”  Laura Frisbie
  • “I am very sensitive to Energy Constrictions. There are always at least one in every session, it is a given.  I do long sessions and sometimes there are three or four energy constriction releases; I’d say at least one or two per hour.”  Lindis-Chloe Guinness
  • “My skill, which I honed more and more with Repatterning, was connecting the dots for myself and others.  I think it was innate for me and became even more apparent as I did the work.”  Bobbie Martin
  • “I am detail oriented versus the more feeling oriented, which I think most practitioners are.  I can’t make a mistake because I follow the process exactly.”  Wendi Theus

“One can talk about being present, but it’s not a command performance. This was the most difficult thing for me to acquire.  I can’t even say how I learned to contain enough safety to simply BE with another except that I practiced (by offering dozens of sessions).  And I asked for help.

I know that rhythmic breathing is required as well as feeling my body in the chair, my feet on the floor.  I feel my attention diffused throughout my being rather than concentrated in my head.  My eyes feel soft and I can move my awareness into my heart.  From the heart space, I can fill the room with loving presence and effectively entrain with my client.

I have also learned the value of asking for help.  Before every session, I connect with ancestors and friends who are no longer in physical life but come readily into my awareness when asked.  I breathe their presence into my energy field.  This is deeply comforting and fills me with confidence that I can meet whatever challenges arise.  When a difficult moment comes, I slow down and consciously focus on my breath and the connection to spiritual support.  I do what it takes to be present because there is no other way I can hold a healing space for them.  As a result, I serve my highest good because I want to serve others.”   Tina Beneman

3.  “Is there a particular skill or quality that, in your opinion, is crucial for transforming one into a confident practitioner?”

  • “Being intuitively tuned into the client.”  Michael Fischer
  • “Not staring at books but engaging the client, going beyond the mechanical to a quantum leap of professional healing.”  Patti Towhill
  • “Aside from mastering basic technique, the most vital skill is the ability to be present.” Tina Beneman
  • “Comfort with mystery and paradox in general.”  Laura Frisbie
  • “If I had to name one quality, I would say trust—trust in oneself and trust in the repatterning process to take us where we need to go.”  Kathie Joblin
  • The most important quality is willingness to show up.”  Sally Herr
  • “I tell my students that practice, practice, practice does it.”  Bobbie Martin
  • “My ability to create a sacred space and to “be with” the client rather than focusing on the books, so they have an experience of being gotten.”  Victoria Benoit
  • “Being able to easily navigate the manuals and to bring clients successfully through the process, and also to truly hear what a client is saying beyond the words they are speaking.” Jennifer Foster
  • “Desire, commitment, and perseverance.”  Elizabeth Tobin
  • “Intuition”  Lynn Morgan
Laura Frisbie, Resonance Repatterning Practitioner
Laura Frisbie, Resonance Repatterning Practitioner

Laura Frisbie, M.Ed., http://www.beat-depression-naturally.com