5 Important Messages to Help You and Your Children Succeed in Life

In this article, I will list 5 common limiting messages that limit our and our children’s ability to learn and excel. I will then describe a way to free ourselves and our children in order to manifest a happier, more successful life.

Every family has beliefs and rules stored in the family consciousness handed down from generation to generation. We learn these rules very early in life. Even though we may not be consciously aware of these beliefs, we still follow them. Some are beneficial, some are not. Examples of beliefs handed down in my family include: “My children are very beautiful.”—pretty nice. Not so nice– “If I do not serve my husband all the time and make him happy, he will leave me.”

A mother holds up her child.
A mother holds up her child. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When we honor these rules, even if we are not consciously aware of them, we feel loyal and at peace—no matter what the rule is. When the beliefs limit us, our level of success and enjoyment of life get squelched. We find that we never achieve what we want—because we cannot release ourselves from being loyal to those rules. Here are common 5 limiting beliefs:

Limiting Belief # 1: You are a bad girl or (bad boy).

When a parent or caregiver perceives that a child has done something wrong, they sometimes say “Bad girl.” Or “Bad Boy.” When you think you are bad, you think you are all together bad. People tell a child they are bad in hopes the child will act better. This is not a good way to teach a child to behave. The child, assuming that they are a bad human being, will begin to act that way. The truth is that even when you think you behave badly, you are still a good human being.

Limiting Belief #2: There must be a husband and a wife in the family to raise a healthy child.

We have been taught that children are happier when they have a father and a mother. The truth is that a child can be happy with one parent, with two fathers or two mothers—whether a boy or a girl. All that matters is that we have good parents and a good environment where we feel safe, secure, and where we feel loved.

Limiting Belief # 3: A mother has to stay at home to care for the child.

Some people say that when a mother works and leaves a child with another person, the child will have more problems and feel abandoned by their mother. The truth is whether at home or not, a good parent gives their child a feeling of being beautiful, loved, and valued. What matters is that the child feels beautiful, loved, cared for and nurtured. Whether the parents are at home or not does not matter. That said, it is important that the care giver has the same attitude of valuing the child—not just a babysitter who watches TV.

Limiting Belief #4: Children have to be punished to learn right from wrong.

Spare the rod—spoil the child, the saying goes. Children are sometimes hit, spanked, humiliated or yelled at when they are seen as behaving badly. Punishment does not help children learn. Rather it teaches them to behave badly, to be bullies, tyrants, and to behave in violent, abusive ways. There are only a few instances when force needs to be used—such as when the child is in danger. For those times that force was used upon you, acknowledge that you were an innocent child. Free yourself of that burden of guilt, and without judgment, leave the responsibility to whom it belongs.

Limiting Belief # 5: You have to be a good parent all the time, otherwise you will have bad children.

No one behaves perfectly all the time. When you behave badly to your child, your spouse, or anyone else, say, “I am sorry. I behaved badly.” It can be a huge relief for children to hear, “See—Mommies and Daddies make mistakes.”

Here is a visualization that can help to free ourselves of these detrimental beliefs and patterns: Visualize the family members/care givers from whom you took these beliefs. Say to the them, “I took these beliefs from you but I don’t want them anymore. Please see me with love as I give them back to you.” Visualize these feelings gently returning from you to your elders and your elders lovingly receiving them. Know that your elders are happy to receive them. They know that these false beliefs are not good for you and that once you let go of these beliefs, they can be passed on to wherever they belong.

Sally Herr is a Resonance Repatterner in Portland, Maine who helps people be free of limiting beliefs. She connects with people in person as well as by phone. Her website is NewEraTherapies.com

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How My Business Grew by Being a Member of the Board

Before Joie Jacobsen became a member of the Association Board, she had just lost her job and had no idea how to grow a Resonance Repatterning® business. Being a Board member gave her confidence and helped both her and her business grow. Here is her story.

Sally: How did you get on the Board?

Joie: My very good friend, Gladys Murphy, and my teacher, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, suggested that I might enjoy being on the Board. I thought about it. I’d just been laid off from my corporate job as an executive assistant and I decided that being on a board might be a nice addition to my resume–not high minded, but that’s where I was starting. I was also pretty curious about what the Repatterning Practitioners Association did. Let me tell you, I’ve learned more than I ever dreamed I would, AND joining the Board changed my life!

Sally: How has being on the Board changed your life?

Joie: First of all, I haven’t gone back to the corporate world.

As soon as I joined the Board, things started to fall into place so that I could begin to build my own private practice and support myself with the work I LOVE.
Every month I attend a Board meeting, which brings me into contact with people who are so supportive of my work and me. That’s been a major key. As I take on different jobs for the Board I come in contact with great people and great ideas. For example, when I first became a Board member, I needed to contact Liz Tobin, a practitioner whom I greatly admire, regarding her support of the annual conference. I asked Liz if she had any advice for me as I was just starting my practice. She suggested doing a series of daily repatternings (by proxy) around prosperity and charge a dollar a day. It was a great idea, and I’ve now done the series four times. The 100 Days of Prosperity and Abundance project not only got my practice started, but it’s helped me increase my client list and visibility each time I’ve done it. If I hadn’t joined the Board and been assigned the task of helping coordinate break-out sessions, I would never have called Liz and would probably be back working as an EA once more. Being on the Board has pushed the envelope of what I thought I could do. I learned so much about being a practitioner in the process. I’ve encounter this sort of support, sharing and encouragement with my every RPA interaction. Repatterning Practitioners are so generous and kind. They come from a place where they know there is plenty. The more I get involved, the more gifts I receive.

Sally: What sort of skills have you developed?

Joie: The first couple of times that I needed to call people, I was uncomfortable and wanted to do ANYTHING else. Now making calls is easy, and I look forward to talking to my fellow practitioners. Another skill I rediscovered is writing. I do a lot of writing for my proxy groups, but I’ve also written an article for the Repatterning Journal. I used to love writing when I was in my teens and twenties and then I just stopped. Re-discovering my voice as a writer fills me with confidence and joy.

Sally: What specifically has the Board been doing this past year?

Joie: The Association’s number-one job is to support the members. Karen Kent, our president, has been a true leader and an advocate for positive change in how the Association works on all levels. For example, in this past year, we passed new bylaws that allowed us to shift from a 12 to a 15-member advisory board to a more efficient 5-person executive board. The Certification Committee has made various changes to make being certified an easier process. The Journal Committee has recently made the Repatterning Journal open to everyone on the internet, so members who contribute to the Journal can get world-wide exposure. The Board is working on projects to give Resonance Repatterning greater exposure worldwide.

Sally: What sorts of jobs are available?

Joie: Fresh ideas provided by new people are always needed. Presently the spots open for next term on the executive board are President, Treasurer, and one generalist. Committees for members’ participation  include the Journal, the Membership, or Continuing Education committees. A great committee to get your feet wet on is helping to plan the Annual Conference.

Sally: How do I let people know that I want to get involved?

Joie: Contact President Karen Kent at 609-443-0020, or Josephine Rovari at 1-800-685-2811, press #2, then #1.

Joie: Before I joined the Board, I was aware of wanting to stay small and safe. It’s an issue I push up against from time to time. Since I joined the Board, I have learned that the more I share, the safer I feel. We use the process of Resonance Repatterning in every meeting for every committee I’m on and at the regular Board meetings as well. There is nothing like holding the space for your fellow committee or board members to increase your confidence as a practitioner and your connectedness as a seeker of wholeness and well-being.

Sally: Tell me a story of how you found yourself to be more powerful than you thought through your participation in the Association.

Joie: In June, I went to a retreat with Chloe Wordsworth, sponsored by Michelle Bongiorno. Because I’ve developed a greater ease in talking to people, I decided that I wanted to talk to Chloe about getting all the books formatted as ebooks. I told her that I’ve scanned nearly all my books onto my iPad and found it helpful. At one point someone asked Chloe to facilitate one of the repatternings Chloe had created for her “Living In Tune” radio series. Chloe apologized that she didn’t have any of them with her. HA! I raised my hand and said that had a number of them on my iPad and Chloe was welcome to use one of them. I brought my iPad up to Chloe. I was so thrilled that  I could show Chloe how cool it was to have EVERY repatterning available on one tiny pad.
Then something totally different happened. Chloe asked for a minute or two to review the repatterning and suddenly said that she couldn’t do it as she hadn’t looked at it since she’d written it 5 years ago. She asked each of the teachers in the room if they’d like to facilitate the session but all declined saying they didn’t know it either. Chloe turned to me and asked if I’d like to facilitate the session for the group. My old “be small be safe” issue reared its head and I said, “oh, no. I can’t.” But then all my closest practitioner friends including Carol Cannon, Gladys Murphy, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, Michelle Bongiorno, Merrill Carinci and Mim Woodruff all looked at me and said “Do it! You CAN do it!” So I did!
What an honor! Getting to facilitate that repatterning in front of Chloe and the teachers and all the participants in that workshop was an honor bigger that I could have imagined. It was only because of my active participation in the Association, being on the Board and working on all the committees I’ve worked on that I have grown to the point where I got to have that honor. I got to stand up and be BIG and feel not only safe in doing this, but loved, honored and respected by my peers, colleagues, leader and teachers.

Sally: Thank you, Joie. I am so happy that you got to have that honor. You have shown us that serving our Association really does make a difference in our lives.

Change Your Life Through Handwriting


Developing good habits is the basis of personal growth and development. We all know that. We also know that handwriting tells volumes about who the writer is. Therefore, by developing the habit of writing in an empowering way, we have the power to shape our lives. When I heard about Vimala Rodgers’ kit, Transform Your Life Through Handwriting, the process seemed like a perfect way to communicate with my subconscious, and I immediately bought it.

Vimala recommends practicing forming letters in the new, empowering way daily. She confidently affirms that your life will experience miracles while using this program. Vimala states that each of the letters holds within them, a rich depth of spiritual essence. For each letter, she describes its nature and how to inscribe it.

The letter “O,” for example, “ generates compassion, kindness and understanding. To write it, start at the top and make a circle in a clockwise direction, uncluttered with no loops or hooks.” Keep it simple. Because we write from a left to right direction, the right is about the future and reaching out toward others. When we form the letter “O” in a counterclockwise direction, we are unconsciously looking in the direction of the past, toward the facts, with little consideration at how the listener might feel. When we inscribe the letter in a clockwise direction, we are better able to see the beauty, the truth, and the gifts that lie beyond the mere facts. I mention this letter in particular because as a teacher and a counselor, inscribing the letter “O” simply and in a clockwise direction has enabled me to more strongly love, to see clearly, and to truly understand those with whom I work.

How handwriting has helped me:

Vimala states that miracles will happen if one practices writing letters as she describes. It has been over 40 days since I have been practicing my Vimala Rodgers alphabet. I would like to tell you of my miracles. Maybe these miracles would have happened without this practice, but just the same, I plan to continue this practice. First of all, when I practice my handwriting, it seems as if my mind is expanding, and I feel happier. During these 40 days, I bought new clothes–bright, happy, comfortable clothes. I threw out clothing that did not suit me any more. I started wearing makeup daily. I began getting weekly massages. I became more serious about my food choices, avoiding wheat and dairy products. I consulted an interior designer and am in the process of updating my home and office furnishings.

In other words, my level of self-care has been amped up. People are telling me that I look pretty, they are treating me with higher respect. And–icing on the cake– a friend introduced me to a an attractive, interesting man.

How I have used handwriting with my clients:

Look at first letter of a client’s name: Vimala states that the first letter of one’s first name holds your greatest gift and greatest struggles. If a client is stuck, I have started noticing how the quality of the letter that person’s first name might assist them in some way. For example, as a speech pathologist, I was teaching smart, sensitive five-year-old Ally how to say the “S” sound. (The letter “A” has the quality of Spiritual stardom, transforming ego into Spirit.) After a halfhearted attempt, Ally said, “I can’t.” There was no convincing her otherwise. I paused, then changed the subject. I asked her, “Would you like to learn how to make a star “A?” The letter “A” is the only letter in the alphabet that can be made like a star. Your name starts with an “A,” so that makes you a star, too.” She was very interested in forming this star “A.” After tracing the letter “A” several times, we went back to attempting the “S” sound. Miracle: She could say it! Even bigger miracle: She temporarily lost the ability to say it, but she continued to practice this new way of saying “S.”

By practicing writing the letters ourselves, we make an effect on our clients. One day I was assigned to go new a school to do speech therapy for a new student. However, the teacher only wanted me to observe. I felt angry and felt I was prevented from making a difference in this child’s life. While at that school, observing that child, I remembered the energy of the letter “e” that is about tolerance, and its declaration of intent is “I may be wrong”–very powerful words! The energy of that letter softened my heart. I realized that I could benefit by simply observing this shy child. When I left, I gave the teacher suggestions as to how to support his improved speech. In hindsight, this child felt very insecure about his speech and would succeed more quickly by working with his familiar and loved teacher. Thank you letter “E!”

We can encourage clients to practice writing as homework. One of my clients was in a panic. Her husband wanted a divorce and her two best friends were near death. What could I do to support her through such horrendous experiences? I suggested that she buy Vimala’s handwriting kit. She bought that kit, and this is what she said about her experience after practicing the program for 40 days:

Overall, I’ve become much more calm and grounded, happy, stable, joyful and grateful, and reasonable. My mind is clearer, making my life clearer.

I’ve realized I am happy with or without J–I don’t have the desperate feeling (as much) of thinking of us not being together. My happiness depends on MYSELF. I realized I cannot to look to others for my own happiness.

Remember those lobster boats that used to start sometimes at 4:30 AM and run their engines for 8+ hours, making me want to jump out of my skin?? Well, so far this summer, it’s been at least half as much, and the noise doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it used to… give up the need to control, huh… I think this has been my biggest problem, and my 40 days of “M” ends on Thursday.

Yesterday I drove myself to the beach, alone, and walked on the sand. I can’t remember the last time I went alone–the parking lot there makes me nervous about needing to back up when I leave (it’s from the PTSD – fear of driving), and it was no problem for me.

On Friday, I got dressed in two different cute outfits and went out twice, alone, and actually enjoyed driving.“M” again–“I am at ease in all situations,” and I’ve been writing, “I am at ease driving.” Guess what?–(surprise, surprise!) I really was at ease.

This simple, inexpensive process can open the door to a happy life. I knew it would make a difference in my life as soon as I heard about it. If it resonates with you, I suggest you consider picking up your pen and start writing.

Additional information can be obtained from Vimala’s website or .

 

Sally Herr
Repatterning Journal Committee Chair &
Certified Practitioner Resonance Repatterning
Sally Herr is a Resonance Repatterning Practitioner, a Speech Language Practitioner, MA/CCC, and a Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist (RCST).  She lives and works in Portland, Maine.  Her website is SallyHerr.com.

 

Book Review of The Greatest Secret of All, by Marc Allen

I enjoy books which are presented in a form that can be turned around into a Resonance Repatterning® process.  Therefore, I was delighted to discover the book The Greatest Secret of All, by Marc Allen.  Marc Allen sets out to identify core beliefs (that can be changed) and conversely core affirmations—that can create.

The core belief process consists of identifying the answers to the following eight questions:

1.  What is the problem?  That one we know.

2.   What are you feeling physically?  Marc states that our negative emotions lie lower in the body than love, which resides in our heart.

3.  What are you feeling emotionally?  At the bottom of all those feelings lies fear.

4.  What am I telling myself repeatedly?  With this question we get  an opportunity to look at the negative statements we repeatedly tell ourselves rather than being their victim.

5.  What’s the worst that could happen?   And then–what’s the very worst that could happen?  In other words, what is behind all these fears?  We often try to hide our worst fears from ourselves.  This question allows the worst to show up.  It is often something that actually could not happen.

6.  What’s the best thing that could happen?  Inevitably the best thing that can happen is much more challenging for us  to connect to than the fear.  We have been telling our worst scenario and rarely do we visit our ideal scenario.

7.  What’s preventing that best-case scenario from happening?  Whatever thoughts float up are your deep underlying beliefs.  Those thoughts are the ‘I am of no value’ type.

8. What affirmation completely contradicts that belief?  That core affirmation is what can create what we desire.

Marc states in his book that you don’t have to believe the positive statements; he says you just have to identify them.  He said that he personally  prefers “I am creating___” statements over “I have___” statements.  He explains that “I am creating_____” statements are easier for the subconscious mind to acknowledge.

Marc summarizes the process as:  Dare to dream and make a plan.

And finally, Marc  describes “greatest secret of all” as becoming our own teacher and trusting our inner guidance,  being the master within.  The greatest secret is about loving and serving yourself and others.  He states that one must become fulfilled before you can help others be fulfilled.  One must serve oneself before one can serve others.

As I said, this formula can easily be used as a delightful repatterning.  Try it.  You will like it.

Sally Herr

Sally Herr is  a Certified Member of RPA and is Chair of the Journal Committee.  She is a Resonance Repatterning Practitioner in Portland, Maine, and provides sessions in person, by phone and in groups.  She can be contacted at www.sallyherr.com.

Magui Block (a.k.a. Carin Block) Creates a Resonance Repatterning New Workshop

Magui Block knows how to support people in transforming their relationships very well.  When I heard that she is creating a new relationships workshop, I wanted to hear more.

Sally:  You are the author of two excellent Resonance Repatterning® workshops—one called Healing the Family and one called Healing the Family Systems and Healing the Systems—Family, Groups, and Organizations.  What is the next workshop that you are developing?

Magui:  My next workshop will address intimate relationships– one with one relationships.  It is more for couple relationships, but it can be beneficial for any other intimate relationship such as parent/child or siblings; boss/employee relationships, close friends.

I want many people to attend.  I want to do it outside of the Resonance Repatterning umbrella, so everybody can attend, not only Resonante Repatterning practitioners.  Chloe, who has always supported and guided my work, likes the idea and is close to me in this project.

There will be two manuals—one for Resonance Repatterning participants and one for people who are not trained to do Resonance Repatterning.  Participants who are not Resonance Repatterning Practitioners can learn the work through another, more simple system—another pathway.  They will still be able to identify non-coherent patters, identify the issues that hold the non-coherence in place and identify the modality.  They can do the same process without needing to use muscle checking.

I hope that this approach will help increase the number of students studying Resonance Repatterning.  By taking this workshop, they will feel motivated to take additional courses.

Some of the chapters of this new workbook include:

  • How Families of Origin affect the Dynamics of the Couple
  • How to Attract and Manifest an Intimate Relationship
  • The Dynamics of Male/Female Interactions
  • Setting Limits in Relationships
  • Destructive Relationships
  • Ending a Relationship

In this manual, I address why there are more divorces now.  I address how to manage power in a relationship such as in relationship to money and control.  And finally, I address what happens when one member of a couple grows and moves in life and that threatens the couple staying together.

Sally:  When is this workshop first going to be taught?

The first workshop will be held in Spain in late November—in Spanish.

Participants will include couples and singles, Resonance Repatterning Practitioners and people who are not repatterners, psychologists and social workers, etc.  They will learn the tools.  I won’t teach them the skills of how to help others heal.  If they have those skills, they can use this tool in their practice.  If not, they will be able to use this tool for themselves.

Sally:  Will you be using Bert Hellinger approaches again in this workshop?

Magui:  I use his principles a little when teaching “dynamics of the soul”.  But primarily I am using other approaches.  I am presenting what I have seen to work with my clients who are addressing couples issues.

The work is very serious, but I address it in a light way.  I use stories and case histories.   The way the manual is written is designed to heal.  I meditated and received inner guidance.  This workshop is very different than what I have presented in the past.  It is simpler.

Sally:  When doing modalities, do you recommend that the practitioner follow the instructions from the book exactly as they are written, or do you recommend that they change the processes as they feel appropriate?

Magui: If a practitioner is connected with spirit, with their wisdom, the modality goes well.  If not connected with spirit, the energy is denser and there is more suffering.  This work must touch your spirit.

For example, with the modalities for trauma: It’s not the trauma, but the trauma’s energy that gets stuck.  Let that energy do what ever it needs to be doing.  What does the energy need to do?   The described modalities are only one way to heal.  If the given modality gives you a different idea, it is recommendable to do that different process.  The suggestions in the book can be used to take a different direction.

Do the work with the heart, not the head.  The modalities are a limitation in a way.  We have many more tools.  When a client is having an experience, the modalities are only ideas of how to address the experience.  Maybe the client has other ideas.

….It is beneficial to take workshops many times.  When you see a lot of different scenarios, your learning and grasp of the process will become deeper.

Sally:  Do you have specific goals for this workshop?

Magui:  The books are design to support transformation, to avoid repeating old patterns, and to create new coherent patterns.

When we get triggered by our old patterns, we get to see how our old patterns are in relationship to us. How do we develop the ability to not repeat these old patterns?  First we identify our patterns and then we go on to our relationship patterns.  We address what triggers us.  What ever triggers us shows how we are in relationships and this reflects how we relate to ourselves.

In one of the chapters, for example, I address that people are often alone, not by conscious choice, but are afraid to be with someone.  They do not want to open their hearts—but that decision happens on an unconscious level.  They are choosing by not choosing. They are losing time, love and experiences.

Then there are others who have relationships, but do not open up, they stay safe.  They do not have a sense of community.  They can’t open to someone, can’t open to others.  They stay stuck in unhealthy relationships.  They don’t finish with the relationship because they are afraid.

In this workshop, and in the book, I talk in a way that is light, very light.  That is the way I teach.  Not heavy.  The issues are heavy, but the presentation is light and the healing is with love.

I am hoping to present Resonance Repatterning in a way that will help Resonance Repatterning will grow.  I hope to find ways to make it attractive to more people.

Sally:  Thank you Magui for all you have done for Resonance Repatterning.  I look forward to taking this new workshop.

Sally Herr

Magui Block lives in Cuernavaca, Mexico. She has received accreditation in several fields in psychotherapy: Person Centered Focus, Gestalt Psychotherapy, Gestalt for Children and Teenagers, Dreams, Biomnemics (body therapy), Gestalt to treat Symptoms, Family Therapy, E.M.D.R., Eriksonian Hypnosis. She is also trained as a Family Constellation Therapist by the Bert Hellinger Institute of Berlin.
Magui has been a Resonance Repatterning Certified Practitioner since 1999, and teaches the Empowering Yourself seminar. She is the author of the Resonance Repatterning seminars “Healing The Family Systems” and “Healing The Systems- family, groups and organizations”. She was the first President of the Mexican Resonance Repatterning Association during 2000 and 2001, when it was created.

Sally Herr is a Resonance Repatterning Practitioner, a Speech Language Practitioner, MA/CCC, and a Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist (RCST).  She lives and works in Portland, Maine.  Her website is SallyHerr.com.